This is why I like it here…

Being in India I mean, as compared to being elsewhere. Small things which, for me, make a big difference. Of course, not counting the fact that home is afterall home. I loved being in the US for the little while I was there, but I missed some key things (no, not family and food, they are the obvious ones).  Stuff that make living simpler here (at least for me).

Like having a maid servant who can take care of cleaning the house and maybe even help around in buying groceries when you’re ill. At least my mom’s maid servant does it (My maid servant, well, that’s another story altogether. She has this record with herself every single day. She has to finish up brooming and mopping in flat 7 minutes, or else she her food doesn’t digest!). Like having a cook if you need to…who you can train to cook like how you want her to or atleast help with the cooking (cutting veggies n all that), so you can just waltz in and give the finishing touches!! Having the ‘iron’ fellow…uhh…I mean the guy who irons clothes for a living. One thing I absolutely detest doing is ironing my clothes. I loathe the task. Having this ‘iron’ guy around is a blessing. And you’ll most certianly find one, if not in your road, in the next one. For sure. There used to be a time when I lived with my parents, the maid servant would wash the clothes (my mother doesn’t believe in a washing machine) and once dried, she would take them to get them ironed. I didn’t even have to tell her which ones to take…she knew it! That’s the best part about living here…having help to make life simpler and easier. Even gardeners, plumbers, electricians, carpenters are all just a conversation away. Speak to your neighbour or your maidservant, or even the local grocer and next day you’ll have the required person ringing your door bell.

 There’s no way you can get all this abroad, unless you’re really rich. Middle class families can’t expect to live like how middle class here does with all the help around. Of course money is a part of this, but here I feel it’s more about relationships. My mother’s maidservant knows my entire family. We know her family, we’re the ones she comes to in case of any monetary need. We help in her childrens’ education. If she goes to her village, she brings along some fresh vegetables and fruits grown in her agriculture land. My mother’s office driver (her office has these 2 drivers that cater to the enitre office) knows all the houses of our relatives, he can drop anyone anywhere without any of us being in the car! We in turn know his family too…he comes home to give sweets on a festival! My mother-in-law has these 2-3 office boys who gladly do her small time work (delivering  or picking up things from one place to another). My friends, my husband they know their car and bike mechanics so well that if they need a quote for a car, or if they need some servicing, or they need some help with their vehicles, all they have to do is just call the mechanic. Everything will eb taken care of. If they need to buy a used car, they tell him, and he finds one for them or directs them to someone who can find one for them. No online searching. Of course this whole ‘do everything online’ is catching up here and how. It’s great in some areas (like paying your bills n all that) but for others, I think a personal touch is what makes it work.

And having all these people around is soooooooo nice. You don’t even have to be rich to get all this…You have to just be genuinely nice, respect them, help them, treat them kindly and of course pay them without questions. A whole network of symbiotic relationships. It works and keeps everyone happy. And most importantly it saves time…so that you can spend it doing what you’d really want to do. Compare this to how you have to live elsewhere. You clean, you drive, you fix things, you just about do everything yourself. The shelves of the stores are filled with DIY kits. Well, it is nice to do things on your own, but in this world of less time, you need all the help you can get, atleast on the week days That’s why I love it here, despite all its problems, India is…still a personal place.

Reminiscing over a song

A normal morning except I heard someone’s mobile phone ring in a particular tune. Instrumental. Soft. Known. Beckoning. Took me back to a time when I loved that song to bits. I still do, just that the intensity of those times is missing. Just like life, just like love. When there’s no intensity, it fades and remains either as a dull ache in the back of your mind or a dull memory. However you choose it. I’m digressing. Coming back to the song…usually I like songs purely for the reason they’re composed. It sounds good. Lyrics come next. This particular song however is in a language I don’t understand. A long lost friend of mine introduced me to the song and I remember having wonderful times listening to it time and again. For some reason, this song miraculously played itself (coincidence or was it?) whenever we were having either a good time or after we’d finished fighting! So this song for me is attached to those memories. Like a beacon, it leads me back to those days…the conversations, the laughter, the arguments, the tears, the easy camaraderie, the playfulness, the lies, the comfort, the intensity, the anger…a whole gamut of emotions that encompass a turbulent relationship. That can never come alive again, except in my mind. As it did today. Vividly. Each detail being etched out. Images moving around. It went so far as to make me remember some of the exact conversations we had whilst this was playing in the background. Sent a shiver down my spine. It’s eerie sometimes how you can recall every minute detail like it happened yesterday and be stuck with some glaring memory lapses at times…

A bar fight

Until last weekend, I’d only heard of people (guys mainly) getting into bar fights. And seen enough and more instances of it in movies and on TV shows. I’d never been a witness to such a fight, let alone being a part of it!

So, we were in this rather reputed old time bar last weekend. One of the few places we still frequent ‘coz it hasn’t changed and become like the new ones which are only filled with 18-somethings gyrating away to glory to some hip hop or trance. This was an old fashioned bar that played rock music (which we all love), where you can sit together and still manage to have a conversation amidst all the din around. Lately, even this place has become overcrowded (like every other place in Bangalore…sometimes I think having your friends home is the best option instead of going out).

We were a bunch of 8 (3 guys and 5 girls). Almost finishing up, ready to go. We had noticed a group of 5 hefty guys come in and take the table next to us. The creepy kinda guys. They kept staring at us girls, through out that time. But we all ignored it. They were even passing lewd comments. So my friend exchanged places with another friend (‘coz some of the comments were directly hurled at her). Now this guy (we’ll call him X) is a lil hot headed. Especially when provoked.  One of the guys in that group asked him what his problem was. X was taken aback. He hadn’t said a word (though he’d have wanted to give them a piece of his mind). Plus he was sitting in an angle facing all of us. So he replied to him saying just continue drinking your beer peacefully. Then another guy from that group came up to X and put one arm around him and said something. That’s it. One minute we were all having a great time, next minute all hell breaks loose. X and that guy had a loud altercation. And hit each other. Toppled a table. All in a split second. The choicest abuses were flying. We all tried restraining X from continuing the fight, but he fought us too (notice how strong people become when they’re angry? It’s so difficult to hold them down physically). The bar management intervened. We all tried making peace. I even saw one of guys lift a big beer mug ready to smash it. Now that was terribly scary. The whole pub was standing now and looking at all this. We finally managed to get out of there before it turned more violent ‘coz it looked like those 5 guys were so ready to continue this. Our boys (the three of them together) would have been no match for those guys. They would have gotten beaten, I’m sure.

 Is anger so difficult to control? Are physical fights enjoyable on some level? Those guys really looked like they wouldn’t mind having a full fledged fight. And each sentence either party said just added more fuel to the fire. All day people use expletives (without a second thought to what it might actually mean), but when a stranger uses it on you (especially who you’re having a fight with), it’s just an invitation to increase the intensity of the fight ‘coz they tend to intrepret the expletive literally. It’s like feeding off each abuse thrown. Makes you want to abuse more. Blind anger. You just want to hit someone and release the anger within you.

I’m just glad nothing serious happened to all of us that night (especially to X). I’m glad those guys didn’t follow us outside and try and do something. It was quite possible. Thankfully it stopped there. Phew!

To bribe or not to bribe

What’s with bribe and Indian officials? Seeped into the system from the lowest to the highest level. Something we, the common citizens just have to accept and live with. We were at the registrar’s office last weekend. Had to get a registered document. There were a set of people (employees most likely) sitting right by the door, each with a table on which there was a fat typewriter. We went to the first one to inquire about our work. That’s it. From that moment on, we were his ‘clients’. He (we’ll call him Mr N) said he’ll get our work done. If we go inside and try and do it ourselves, it might take a very long time, so let him handle all of it was his suggestion. Being well versed with these kind of ‘helpful’ babus, we declined, told him we already had the application form all filled in, just let us know where we need to submit it. N had one look at it and said that it wasn’t the right form. Format has changed. We needed to buy a new application. Completely our fault, we should have smelled a rat at this stage. But there was one more person who came from inside and told us the format had indeed changed. So the application we had filled in went out and N gave us a brand new one (which now in hindsight looks suspiciously like the old one). He said he’ll do all the typing and even put in witnesses (along with signatures!!). So he took our details and typed everything in.

Mr China

Mr China, the true account of how the Chinese market, politics and people had an impact on foreign investment. Particularly the money pumped in by Wall Street’s investment bankers. It’s written by Tim Clissold, a Brit who was in partnership with an American investment banker. Joining them was an ex-Red Guard. It’s about how the $400 million that was invested doesn’t end up showing the expected spectacular results inspite of the upcoming economy. On the contrary, so much of it is lost or gets squandered in the midst of Chinese politics. The narrator of the story is Clissold himself, a Mandarin speaking investment banker. He tells the story in a clear, often humourous manner. The incidents narrated happened in the ’90s. The book gives so much insight on China, their business, their idiosyncracies and the like. It was quite an engaging read. Makes you think about how different life can be either in terms of being in China or in terms of being an investment banker. An eye opener really!

The article in Time about it here.  An interview with Clissold here.