Playhome!

All of us I’m sure were in a ‘playhome’ before we joined school (kindergarten). Imagine my pleasant surprise on reading this morning’s newspaper supplement, which had an article on the playhome I went to when I was about 3 or 4 years old!!!! Even more amazing was they’d put the picture of the lady who still runs the place, it was so nice to see her The only difference in her as I could see was just grey hair and glasses, otherwise she looked just like how she did when I was a part of her playhome, with the same kind, calm and serene look. She had mentioned in the article that all her ‘former kids’ were sending their kids to the place. How cool is that?? It’s a good feeling to know there are some things that last long

Birthday reflections

I’m running the risk of sounding like one of those sent-a-million-times-over-email-forward, but I will continue undaunted with some of the things I’ve personally experienced and realised having come this far…So jotting this down here. It’s a long list!

You can’t change the old school of thought parents come from, no matter how hard you try or how much you try and explain your point of view. It’s best to be obedient soemtimes. No questions asked.

Having a close knit family is the most important thing in life. It most often consists of your inner circle of friends and just very few relatives. They can be the sole reason of you surviving tough phases. It’s impossible to thank them or tell them how much they mean to you.

A job is only a part of your life. It’s not your life. But never undermine it’s importance. Standing on one’s two feet is the best thing you can do for yourself.

You can’t help it if your childhood friend goofs up. That friendship is sacred and will be there forever. Doesn’t matter if you don’t agree on most of the things the friend does.

There is a very thin line between spending and splurging.

White lies save a lot of trouble and heartache. Complete honesty sometimes is not the best policy.

Sometimes nothing ever comes to you on a platter. Every thing needs hard work. And a bit of luck.

You have to keep trying to make a few things work. Keep on trying.

Marriage is for keeps. You have to choose right. Period.

Hope can be cruel sometimes and can easily break your heart.

There is little difference between optimism and realism. Each work well in their own way.

You might not always get what you deserve. You get less at times, more at other times and just the right amount sometimes.

Everything’s not black or white. There’s grey too. Different shades of grey.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’ll never recognise the humour of life.

Religion and God are very personal things. You cannot fathom another person’s reaction on this.

You must have something you love to do. Be it a hobby or anything else.

You’ll always treasure the crazy, wild nights. Even if you’ve made a fool of yourself on each and every one of those nights.

It’s amazing how contradictory events and feelings can be experienced. Life is ironic.

A house accumulates objects over the years without you realising it. Go minimal. Give away things you don’t need.

Charity begins at home. So does keeping your environment green and clean.

You will have atleast one neighbour you don’t like.

Enjoy a sport even if you don’t or can’t play it.

Music and movies are universal.

Indifference is the answer to a lot of things.

Talking, ‘getting things off your chest’ and sharing really helps.

There’s no substitute to home food. And your mother’s cooking.

Nature will always amaze you. Be it as small as the smell of the earth after rain. Or the bloom of flowers in spring. Or the summit of a mountain. Or a flowing river. Or the raging sea and the blissful beach. Or snow.

Have a garden, even if it’s just potted plants in a 2×2 square.

Know when to let go and when to continue.

Compromise makes for a good umbrella but not a good roof.

A family that travels together (on a regular basis) stays together.

Always give the benefit of doubt before jumping into conclusions.

No matter how old you are, you’ll still be a kid to your parents which means you’re still as likely to get ticked off as you were when you were a kid.

Beauty is skin deep and is very much in the eyes of the beholder.

Relationships are dynamic. That’s the best part about them.

There’s nothing like ‘getting over’ the passing away of a parent. Time doesn’t heal everything. All the memories are just locked up in a black box inside the back of your head. There will be times when you will open it up and everything comes flooding back. Like reality. The past takes over you and the present blurs. And the pain stays, forever…

You must be comfortable being by yourself and giving that space to yourself even if all you do during that time is ‘nothing’.

Things usually don’t go as expected or planned. However it’s still important to plan.

You can never expect the unexpected.

Material things sometimes never match up to genuine words.

Change is always drastic.

Life can turn topsy-turvy anytime.

Don’t just laugh, guffaw.

Spontaneity is good.

Finding happiness in the details and the small things can keep you going even if there’s nothing big happening in your life. Never lose the ability to notice and enjoy them. And start doing those small things that can make a difference.

It’s all about balance.

p.s. I’ll probably add more to this list. Guess I’m not just getting older, but wiser as well, no?

The year that was

Another year gone by…wheels of time continue spinning…
It’s been a very eventful year personally and otherwise. (Eventful doesn’t really describe if the events made you happy, ecstatic, disappointed, sad or angry. It just says a lot has happened!)

I stumbled on this terrific photojournalism site which featured a 3-part series on the year 2008. It’s a must-see. (The site is also part of my Blogroll now)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Here’s to my career which I hope will turn out the way I’ve envisioned it for 2009; to my family who I’m crazy about…I love you all to bits; to our house that’s nearing completion…I can’t wait to start living there; to our travelling, where I hope to explore more new places; to my books, which are my escape, my partner in solitude ;to Bangalore, my beloved city which I hope will see better things and more trees and restored lakes in 2009; and last but most importantly, to my mad bunch of friends who keep me sane through thick and thin. Muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Oh and world peace of course if such a thing exists in these violence-obsessed times. (No, I’m not being sarcastic, it amazes me to see how our world has become and how all that one can talk about is of atrocities committed by people towards other people)

I just can’t remember who said this or who wrote this and I’m going to end this post by saying it: May you live in interesting times! Best wishes for a wonderful new year ahead!

p.s. I will find out who said it.

I W & F

Irresponsible, Wild and Footloose. My conversation with my girls (we are 6 of us and living in different places, but keep in touch very regularly thru’ the wonderful medium of e-mail and telephone) today was around this. A very interesting and lively exchange of email on the I W & F phase(s) of our lives. We were recounting a few incidents when we were I W & F. Some of them were funny, some were profound, some were sad, some were plain stupid. Great for a laugh and a superb conversation point in a pajama party…After downing a few cocktails, imagine the ‘damaging’ anecdotes that can spill out!!

   Recounting the incidents when you were like that can really open up a Pandora’s box of memories…Memories of when you were stupid enough to fall headlong for a guy who had ‘I’m trouble’ written all over him, or when you were so drunk that you passed out, or when you flirted with some strange men and enjoyed it thoroughly…there are a million things that can come under I W &F. A common thread among all of them, I’m sure, is the feeling of being free…absolutely and completely. No boundaries and no questions. . .

Taking one’s life

is not easy from what I’ve heard or read. I personally did not know anyone. Until a few days back, when a photograph stared at me from the newspaper. A very familiar face. It was one of my school classmates, a very bright girl, she was the school captain as well (or vice captain). Very shocking indeed. And quite disturbing. She did this to herself? That sounded impossible. Questions that will remain questions.  Maybe we should have tried to still keep in touch (I do know some friends tried it for a while after school and during college days, but I think they were snubbed). No one knows what could have saved her. It’s hard to digest that someone you’ve actually seen growing up ending up this way (even though you weren’t close or anything, but just the fact that you know the person and have had a fair amount of years together).  I hope she has found the happiness and freedom now that she did not find here in this world. May her soul rest in peace.

Mum’s the word!

I don’t really believe in all these 21st century created ‘days’. Like Friendship Day, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Sister’s Day, so on and so forth. We had survived (no, thrived) before all these. But after their import from the West, all the greeting card stores, the restaurants, the gift shops thrived and how. Why do I need one particular day of the year to celebrate love, or friendship? Also I’ve always believed that doing something for anyone should be done when they least expect it. When it’s not an occasion. When you turn an ordinary day into a special day, no?

 Not that anything has changed in what I think about this, but a few years ago, on Mother’s Day, I’d gone for a wedding. On the way back, my friend stopped off to buy some flowers for her mother. And kinda coaxed me into it as well. I thought, what the heck, my mother anyway likes flowers, no harm in taking some home (irrespective of what day it was). So I took some  gerberas and went home. The look on my mother’s face when I gave her those is something I’ll always cherish. It was such a tiny gesture on my part, but made a whole load of difference to her! So the next year (now that I’d set an implicit expectation and you know how hard it is to escape these from moms!!) I gave her something…I don’t remember what though. And this continued (except for the times I wasn’t in town during Mother’s Day). Today, being Mother’s day, I got her a bunch of baby pink gerberas and three different potted flowering plants (she loves plants…anything to do with her garden). Boy, was she thrilled or what, with the plants! Worth it, eh?

I don’t think my mom feels happy about this because it is Mother’s Day. I think it just gives her a lot of satisfaction to know that her offspring (who’s quite lost usually) took some time to do a thoughtful gesture. It never amazes me how she can have the capapcity to feel unbridled joy about trivial things I do. I don’t understand this…she does innumerable thoughtful gestures on a daily basis which are taken for granted almost all the times, and I do like twelve a year??? How can there be such a disparity? That’s why she’s mom and I’m daughter I suppose!

God’s in the details after all…

 

A mixed week

Three of my good friends have graduated to the so-called ultimate stage of being a woman. They have become mothers now. From being an infant themselves, to being schoolgirls, to being college hotshots, to being professionals, to being responsible and kind daughters, to being great wives and understanding daughters-in-law, they have now come a full circle. They have a baby of their own. They hold the entire responsiblity of another being. Wishing them all the happiness in their new role.

  One of my closest friends lost his father last weekend. They say nothing is more final than death. It’s the ultimate truth that we all push away ‘coz it’s too hard to face. What can you say that can bring solace? Nothing. Nothing at all. It’s an individual battle and has to be fought on your own. Taking each day at a time, literally. Time doesn’t heal, but definitely helps in moving on to concentrate on other things that have sprung up…but it will still remain an open wound whose pain can strike you anytime, anywhere…

They say “Death is not the greatest loss in life; the greatest loss is what dies in you when you are alive”.

Life and Death…the ultimate joy and the ultimate sorrow…if death is reality, is life just an illusion?

A bar fight

Until last weekend, I’d only heard of people (guys mainly) getting into bar fights. And seen enough and more instances of it in movies and on TV shows. I’d never been a witness to such a fight, let alone being a part of it!

So, we were in this rather reputed old time bar last weekend. One of the few places we still frequent ‘coz it hasn’t changed and become like the new ones which are only filled with 18-somethings gyrating away to glory to some hip hop or trance. This was an old fashioned bar that played rock music (which we all love), where you can sit together and still manage to have a conversation amidst all the din around. Lately, even this place has become overcrowded (like every other place in Bangalore…sometimes I think having your friends home is the best option instead of going out).

We were a bunch of 8 (3 guys and 5 girls). Almost finishing up, ready to go. We had noticed a group of 5 hefty guys come in and take the table next to us. The creepy kinda guys. They kept staring at us girls, through out that time. But we all ignored it. They were even passing lewd comments. So my friend exchanged places with another friend (‘coz some of the comments were directly hurled at her). Now this guy (we’ll call him X) is a lil hot headed. Especially when provoked.  One of the guys in that group asked him what his problem was. X was taken aback. He hadn’t said a word (though he’d have wanted to give them a piece of his mind). Plus he was sitting in an angle facing all of us. So he replied to him saying just continue drinking your beer peacefully. Then another guy from that group came up to X and put one arm around him and said something. That’s it. One minute we were all having a great time, next minute all hell breaks loose. X and that guy had a loud altercation. And hit each other. Toppled a table. All in a split second. The choicest abuses were flying. We all tried restraining X from continuing the fight, but he fought us too (notice how strong people become when they’re angry? It’s so difficult to hold them down physically). The bar management intervened. We all tried making peace. I even saw one of guys lift a big beer mug ready to smash it. Now that was terribly scary. The whole pub was standing now and looking at all this. We finally managed to get out of there before it turned more violent ‘coz it looked like those 5 guys were so ready to continue this. Our boys (the three of them together) would have been no match for those guys. They would have gotten beaten, I’m sure.

 Is anger so difficult to control? Are physical fights enjoyable on some level? Those guys really looked like they wouldn’t mind having a full fledged fight. And each sentence either party said just added more fuel to the fire. All day people use expletives (without a second thought to what it might actually mean), but when a stranger uses it on you (especially who you’re having a fight with), it’s just an invitation to increase the intensity of the fight ‘coz they tend to intrepret the expletive literally. It’s like feeding off each abuse thrown. Makes you want to abuse more. Blind anger. You just want to hit someone and release the anger within you.

I’m just glad nothing serious happened to all of us that night (especially to X). I’m glad those guys didn’t follow us outside and try and do something. It was quite possible. Thankfully it stopped there. Phew!

Adieu to a friend

Not really of course, but bidding adieu at work. Meaning…a close friend and colleague quit the company. The workplace was what bound us, that’s where we’d met more than 5 years ago. What started off as an initial aquaintance (since we didn’t really know anyone else there and we were just out of training) has built into a thick friendship.

You know, it’s different, when you have a close friend at work. It gets personal, ‘coz you share your everyday life…at break times and otherwise. Office politics, policies, bosses, peers, subordinates, projects, deadlines, clients, company share price, stock market,  promotions, coffee, food, more coffee, spouses, in-laws, friends, movies, technology…you name it; the friendship spans all of it and more. There is also this wonderful feeling of comfort…when your boss is giving you a hard time, when you’re stuck with something seemingly hopeless, all you need is that quick break with this friend and voila, you’re fine! The feeling that, help is literally a shout away!

 Not that we won’t be meeting each other just because we don’t share the same employer anymore. Of course we will. But the frequency and the kind of conversation is bound to change. It’s an altogether different thing when you discuss everyday happenings with someone when compared to the ‘catching up’ conversation that will happen (Hopefully, once a month atleast).  

Well anyway, I’m not here to crib about this (like who I’ll talk to in my break; of course there are other colleagues n friends, but still…you get what I mean). All this has left me rather nostalgic. It’s difficult to let go of someone who’s been an almost-constant companion throughout my worklife. Who truly understands what goes on in the workplace.

Here’s to you my friend, I will miss you…a lot…especially in all my innumerable coffee breaks. The office will defintely not be the same without you. Here’s wishing you all the very best in your next endeavour! I’m sure you’ll do just great.

A daunting task

Have you  noticed how tough it is to study after a long gap? To study when you work? To study because you need to pass something you really don’t believe in. It’s altogether another topic as to why I’m doing this if I don’t want to. But for some questions, there are no direct answers. Atleast not right now.

Attention span for some reason refuses to go beyond 10 mins at a stretch. Everything but concentrating on the book comes to your mind.

1. You suddenly remember the exact timings of your favourite TV show and realise you can maybe catch an episode of it in some time (all these days of course being blissfully unaware of it). 

2. Hunger pangs hit you more often. You especially think of restaurants you’ve never been to. This in particular never strikes when you’re in the car, starved, and you want to go to a new place. How much ever you think of it, the name of the place never comes to mind and you end up going to the same old tried-and-tested-and-found-satisfactory-restaurant.